The Prediction

“You will soon be with child, my dear,” the psychic exclaimed.

She thanked him. As they were leaving, she said to her sister, “Michelle, you’re definitely buying dinner now, since I just blew fifty bucks on that freak show.”

“Come on, Tamara. What are you upset about? You just have to think of it as entertainment. Did you really think that a guy called ‘The Amazing Zorta’ was going to help you solve all your problems and plan your life?”

“No, but to tell me ‘You will soon be with child’? What the HELL does that mean? Seriously, I’ve got a pretty butch haircut, tattoos, and I’m wearing Doc Marten’s. Doesn’t that pretty much tell the guy, ‘This chick’s gayer than gay’? I just don’t get it,” Tamara said. “Where do you want to eat, anyway? I’m getting hungry.”

“Let’s go to Pasta Bella,” said Michelle. “I’ve been craving their spinach gorgonzola walnut ravioli lately, and their crème caramel for dessert is simply orgasmic.”

The women took the #2 bus uptown to the restaurant, but did not speak. Tamara spent the entire ride thinking about what the psychic said, and recounted many conversations she had with her partner, Tracy, about child rearing. During their five-year relationship, Tracy frequently mentioned that having children was not part of her life plan. Tamara had always envisioned becoming a mother some day, but denied these feelings because she didn’t want to make Tracy unhappy.

Tamara was the first to speak after their meal had arrived.

“How do you do it?” she asked.

“What do you mean?” asked Michelle.

“Being a single mom. I mean, how do you do the ‘nurse thing’ all week, and still have time and energy to come home and be such a great mother to Ben?” asked Tamara.

“It isn’t always easy,” Michelle said. “You just have to prioritize what’s important to you, and make it happen. After Ben’s dad bailed, I didn’t think I could do it, but honestly, it hasn’t been too difficult. That’s why I became a nurse. The 12-hour shifts are nice because I only have to work three days a week. Ben’s with a babysitter a lot, but I still have four whole days with him.”

“Yeah, I’m just not sure I could do it,” said Tamara.

“Of course you could. What makes you say that?” asked Michelle.

“Maybe, I suppose. Tracy doesn’t want to have kids, though. What that psychic said has really gotten me thinking. What am I supposed to tell Tracy? That suddenly after all these years I’ve changed my mind? It was one thing when I was in my early 20’s and struggling, but now that I’m pushing 30 and doing OK, the biological clock is ticking a lot louder. Know what I mean?” Tamara asked.

“Personally, I don’t know how you could be with somebody who doesn’t want to have kids, especially since you’ve always talked about having them. Maybe you should just have a conversation with her. Tell her your feelings have grown more intense. Maybe she’d be supportive. If not, maybe it’s time for an ultimatum. I know you love her, but you have to decide what’s more important to you, ultimately. It’s not like life is a dress rehearsal. You only get one shot at it,” said Michelle.

“I suppose you’re right,” Tamara said. “It’s just so hard.”

After dinner, the two exchanged “I love you’s.” Michelle took the #2 back downtown to where her condo was. Tamara decided to take a long walk home. She had plenty to think about. Deep down, she knew what Michelle had said about life not being a dress rehearsal was true. If she really wanted to have children, then she was going to have to make that a priority, even if it meant leaving Tracy. She spent hours walking up and down the streets of her neighborhood trying to figure out how to approach the conversation with Tracy.

She walked through the front door to find Tracy sitting quietly on the couch.
“Hey, we have to talk,” they both muttered simultaneously. Something felt weird.

Tamara let Tracy go first. “What is it?” she asked.

“It’s Michelle,” said Tracy. “The hospital called. They said she was killed by a drunk driver in a crosswalk downtown.”

A wave of shock overcame Tamara, and she began to bawl. “I just had dinner with her tonight. How can this be possible?” she cried.

Tracy held Tamara in her arms until both their tears subsided.

“Oh my God!” realized Tamara. “What about Ben?”

“He’ll live with us,” Tracy said bluntly.

“But I thought you didn’t want to have kids,” Tamara said, still sobbing.

“That’s what families do,” Tracy said. “It wasn’t a priority before, but this is totally different. I love you, and I know you would do the same for me. We’ll do whatever it takes to make it work.”

They cried again, but the tears were of a slightly different variety.

“I guess we better call the babysitter,” Tracy said.

“Yeah,” said Tamara. “The babysitter.”